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[01 Sep 2004|02:30pm] |
remind me to never do anything nice for anyone ever again.
it never works out. i know that something awesome is about to happen in life, because really, life bores me and as of now i am driving myself crazy with my thoughts. anywho, i think i will take advantage of live journal more often on accout that i am awesome and creative writing inspired me. p.s. misey is the best teacher ever. she gave some kid money for something today, and was like....pay me back tomorrow...i might need a 40 tomorrow...HAAHAAHA and he's like, 40 ounces? LOL i love it. the class is great.
in other news, i suck. i suck and i'm great at the same time. i know i'm great, but others think i suck. and i know they think so. but hey, whatever.
dude this is weird. my magsters is sitting on me lap. how often does that happen? like never. she's a giant bitch! perhaps she's in distress like me. oh i love her though, my mom told me to get rid of her, but i know she loves her...deep down...under all the scratches from maggie. haha.
anywho...we have to bring in an article to write about for creative writing, and i really want to bring in my AP mag with that awesome article on TBS. i'm sure it'll inspire a lot of thought...haha you know about all those world issues that come up in music mags and what not.
i'm going swimming. i'll probably write again later tonight because besides homework, i have nothing to do.
i cannot write some shit down on account that it is top secret. hah. nevermind, i just let it bother me for a few months more, before i explode into a colossial mental melt down. ew. that sounds gay.
im going swimming folks, after my easy mac.
god, i hope all of you college whores are having fun. i'm so jealous. i'd give anything to get the fuck out of here.
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| today. |
[30 Aug 2004|08:59pm] |
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today was the first day of my senior year, and most would say it sucked, but with a dull summer like mine, anything would be better. so...my schedule today went like this...soc, english, gym (omg the gym was EXTREMELY hot), creative writing, and marine science/astronomy. creative writing was awesome. i'm excited about our daybook assignment that we write in every week, and put pictures in and personalize. i've never really written a whole lot creatively...since i was in like 4th grade, so it should be very fun. anywho, in marine science, mr. seaman asked if anyone wanted to aide for a science teacher, and i said yes, i'd give up gym to aide. i don't know, i kind of hope i'm allowed to, but at the same time i don't really want to? it's another one of those confused about life things. i just hope this year i open up more, and have more friends, more fun, and get better grades. so far, i've done all my homework...but it's only the first day. i don't have creative writing tomorrow, which is kinda sad. mrs. misey has to be the greatest teacher ever, i swear. what other middle aged teacher has a grateful dead poster in her classroom? i'm kinda nervous about tomorrow...my day starts with guitar lab. i guaruntee there'll be all guys in that class. oh well, i gotta learn to play, so i can get into berklee! apparently joe's sister is going to our school this year, and she's coming tomorrow. should be interesting...
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| fucking craziest day of my life..... |
[10 Aug 2004|11:34pm] |
so today me and sarah go to warped in hershey park, after me getting 4 hours of sleep. so we get stuck in fucking traffic for like 45 mins on the way there, which is real shitty but we got there in time regardless. so anywho, we watch some bands and what not...and i call krissy and carolyn for sugarcult and nfg...and they could actually hear the songs so it was worth it. p.s. sarah is now a sugarcult fan.
p.s.s. im exhasted and this entire entry probably doesnt make sense to you
so anywho i survived warped after losing my cell, getting it back,
please hold
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| hahahah oh my |
[08 Aug 2004|11:14pm] |
the funniest thing just happened...sarai and kisha were singing "r-e-s-p-e-c-t" and everyone is laughing, and luna goes, "hahaha you rock"
^hahahaha i was like lmao!!!!!!!
sorry for that preteen moment
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[04 Aug 2004|01:18am] |
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its fucking hot in my room
so tonight i got high and ate a brownie. delish. then i drank a smoothie.
i can't wait til i get my foot back...
i need to get so much done, damnit.
i need drive time so i can get my license
i have been feeling retro lately...i really want to hear some wilson phillips right now
i want to accept the fact that im getting braces and someday i will have the beautiful teeth i deserve
i'm sick of worrying
i need, above all, a 20 bag. someone selll me a good mother fucking gram of weed so i can bask in the sun alone during this awful summer and swim even though it is again the law with a cast.
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[03 Aug 2004|12:37am] |
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 hot |
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music |
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sade - by my side |
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you have to realize: you really can't go back in life. no matter how much you wish you could change the past, it's so over wish. i find myself recently sitting there being so angry with my parents for not caring about my braces all those years. careless fucking parents. at least now they shovel out money. i'm thankful for it, but it's the least they could do. i'm so fucking ugly.
i just realized i probably can't get a parking permit for the fall, because i am yet again ineligible (failed 3 classes last quarter). i don't give a fuck...............but i want to drive to school. i could ask beth...it'd only be for the first quarter anyways. but i REALLY need my license so i can get a job. i'm getting on that.
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[29 Jul 2004|02:15pm] |
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i know i JUST updated but who cares, no one reads this anyways and i just feel this needs to be said. i am so frustrated with my mom's job. every DAMN thing revolves around it. i WANT TO GET MY LICENSE and i had drive time tonight, but my mom needed to work and then we were going over norma's and i'm so stressed and i hate hate hate how her job screws EVERYTHING up. and then the job cancels...so i cannot drive and i am so pissed.
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[29 Jul 2004|02:03pm] |
i'm leaving in an hour to go hang out with krissy and go to some thing tonight at norma's. i'm excited because i miss krissy a whole lot, i never hang out with her. i thought i could just sit at home until my foot gets better, and be depressed, but thats really not how it should be. i hate becoming so distant from my friends. but i really need some anxiety pills because i WORRY sooo much about stupid things! and i realize that i'm really mean to one friend in particular, but for some reason i just feel so angry with her. maybe i have something against her, or when i try to talk to her i just caaant relate to her and it bothers me. like seriously, i could relate so well to krissy when i talked to her and i miss that...a whole lot. she doesn't cause drama, she doesn't care about stupid things, and i feel that's the way it should be.
i miss my music
i miss my foot
i hate taking so much for granted
i am scared that people don't approve of me
i feel bad for people who can't be indepedent
that includes partly myself, but i'm working on that
last night i was thinking about how senior year is stressful, yet fun. along with being a senior, i have the following worries and responsibilies:
i want my license
i need senior pics very soon
i want to walk again like a normal kid
i need to get braces, but im scared
i want to be me again
i need to sell my horse
i am pissed because plans changed and i have to sit here for 4 hours
FFFFFFFFUCK
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[27 Jul 2004|10:21pm] |
ahh shit. just realized the TBS cd came out today!!!!
i should go out and buy it...but i already have the whole album on my computer.
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[27 Jul 2004|10:13pm] |
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i broke my foot last monday and i have to be in a cast until august 18th...3 more weeks. i can't wait to get it off...then it's back to school! senior year! i hope i have my license by then so i can drive to school.
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| about life... |
[10 Jul 2004|12:15am] |
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i think the scariest part of life for all of us is death. even though some might not admit to it, or think about it, i think it's everyone's greatest fear. we all have to die, and every day that passes is one step closer to it. so why do we go on living, even though it is pointless and we all die? because everyone has something to live for. even in the deepest, darkest of depressions, people go on somehow. what really bugs me is how people get so swept up in such small things. yeah, my writing went downhill, but oh well. like tonight when me and sarah took ashley's mom's bikes, and how we got yelled at and in trouble. really, was it such a problem? i really had a lot of fun going to starbucks, and riding through downtown bel air. i have to say, i've never seen main street like that...it was so pretty, and there was live music at the tower, and fountains. sarah and i laughed the whole way because it was so much fun. it was so boring at ashley's, and sure, i could handle it, but sarah was so unhappy so we went out. i didn't see it as a problem at all, just us having a little fun. what's wrong with a little fun? seriously, you're more likely to get in a car accident rather than to be hit by a car riding a bike. it's the small things that make us hang on to life, make us happy, and bring joy to our lives. i always love the feeling of being so happy that all you can do is smile and enjoy what's going on around you, being so happy that you can't even laugh, just smile. whenever i get depressed, i just think about all the things i haven't experienced in life yet...being in love, playing the guitar, visiting other countries, getting married, having my children claire, calista, and aaron...the list goes on. alright, so this turned into just a big, rambling story...i thought it was going to meaningful but i went off on a tangent. i really don't have any other thoughts of my own right now, but this is my favorite movie quote ever...
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[07 Jul 2004|05:59pm] |
i've realized that everything is worth the wait...and if you just wait, unexpectedly, great things will happen :)
BLAHHHHHH
anywho my life is kinda boring, but its alright.
im showing cowboy all this summer and then at the end of the summer, i'm showing tulip...which is exciting. i really like that horse.
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| my summer so far... |
[03 Jul 2004|12:10pm] |
i want to put everything i've done this summer so far...but i can't remember right now.
today's july 3, which means tomorrow is the 4th!
yesterday i went to hershey park with ashley, sarah, and beth. the new ride storm runner is awesome!!!
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[17 Jun 2004|11:18am] |
my shoes!
will be here today!
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[15 Jun 2004|11:21pm] |
tomorrow is the last day of school!
then people are coming over to go swimming, yay!
then we're going to eat crabs.
following that we're going to sarah's.
update on my shoes:
ups.com says...
Your package is in the UPS system and is on-time with a scheduled delivery date of Jun 17, 2004.
Package Progress:
Date Time Location Activity
Jun 15, 2004
8:40 P.M. TULLAHOMA, TN, US DEPARTURE SCAN
5:30 P.M. TULLAHOMA, TN, US ORIGIN SCAN
4:40 P.M. US BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED
hah! don't know what all that means, but they shall be here within the next week hopefully.
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| ahh i forgot |
[13 Jun 2004|10:38pm] |
i just ordered my chucks with my dads credit card that i stole. not stoled. (god i hate how my mom's grammar). anywho, they'll be here in 7-10 business days. june 22 at the earliest, june 25 the latest.
oh and thursday i'm going out to eat with krissy, caro, anna, and other people...i don't remember who. she said a bunch of people.
and friday is sycamore grove at fletcher's! if my sister won't go that will be sad. but i will be going to the low life with sarah and ashley...they want me to go but i want to see SG damnit. soo many people are going to low life.
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[13 Jun 2004|08:50pm] |
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311-i'll be here awhile |
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today i drove and had a not so good experience on 95. im just not ready for it. i consumed about 1000 calories (700 before that tasty coffee milkshake), and worked about half off. i swam twice for a total of 2 hours, and ran for about 15 minutes. tomorrow my plans are to wake up at 8, swim for a half hour, eat, shower, and be at school by 10. i have two finals...journalism and english. tonight i have to do 2 chapters of work for journalism and a news journal. not too bad...because after that, there's no more work EVER. except to study for chemistry, which could make or break my final grade. oh fucking well. i don't care if i pass anymore.
wednesday night sarah and ashley are coming over, and we're going swimming. after that we're going to all you can eat crabs at lafayette in cecil county, then we're tenting it with a bunch of people.
i'm SO glad it's almost summer!
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| my productive day... |
[08 Jun 2004|10:00pm] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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smashing pumpkins - disarm |
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today was rather productive. and could be more productive if i would start on that damn scrapbook that ABSOLUTELY should be in no later than thursday if i ever want to pass psychology. damn my laziness and procrastination. anyways, today i started off by going to school. that's always good. it was 50's day in mrs. brooks' class so i wore my white ab button down. plus beth let me borrow her poodle skirt, so that was fun. i ended up wearing it the rest of the day. last period in women in perspective we watched this movie called whale rider that i really liked. i cried. it was great, the girl rode the whales and proved to her grandfather that she was strong. amazing little women movies. i shall miss that class. then i stayed after with ashley to work on our chemistry labs...unknowns SUCK! you're given a solution and you have to figure out what 4 ions are in it. so far i have phosphate. and i used my golden question. i have one anion and 3 cations. thank god for ashley's help. following that we left at 3:30 and beth was supposed to come swimming with us but her mom wouldn't let her. so we swam til like 5:45 and she had to get ready for her dentist appointment and i for tyler' teeball game. it was fun...he's gotten better at it. that kid is so cute. brookie was there too and i hung out with her for awhile. she has the prettiest blue eyes and curly blonde hair. i love these kids. so anyways, i saw the game and got some dinner at wawa. i then went home and swam for another 15 minutes before my mom and krissy surprisingly came home and i went with them to take nick home and then krissy. i picked up a vanilla ice cream cone which i craved (which makes me sad becuase i should be watching what i eat) and then took the dude home to perry hall. proceed to white marsh mall. i needed a white shirt to go with my skirt that i'm wearing tomorrow. mission accomplished. plus i got this real cute strapless black shirt with a palm tree on it. love it.
also, i bought 2 much needed bras. one white and a little bit lacy, the other is black and moderately lacy as well.
so anywho that was my day. i am to do the following before i proceed to bed.
1. paint toenails
2. homework
p.s. swimming is awesome! i feel so healthy right now.
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[06 Jun 2004|01:54am] |
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music |
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get up kids-long goodnight |
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fucked up my lj while trying to make carolyn's lj.
now looking for a background she'd like before i pass out.
i think i woke up ashley in the process of typing, but probably not. i still feel bad.
i need a guy.
im still drunk.
but i still need a guy, even when im sober.
i deserve a good one after all these years being alone.
love u guys.
<3 jill.
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